This year, I leave my twenties behind. Looking back, here are some things I did wrong, some things I learned, and some things I wish I discovered sooner.
One
Most of the ideas you have now will embarrass you later.
Two
Take out student loans. Buy a car. Get married. You are about to enter a decade of debt. Borrow as little as possible. The poorer you are in your twenties, the richer you’ll be for the rest of your life. The world feeds on the young.
Three
Get out of university by age 22. Don’t be the person who refuses to graduate.
University is wonderful, but you have to decide what you want. Think carefully about your assumption that more education equals a higher paying career. For most careers, four years is enough.
Four
Never be the drunkest person at the party.
Five
Drive slow. Not everyone gets out of their twenties alive.
Six
Your parents miss you. Call them.
Seven
Develop a hard skill. Like programming.
Eight
Ask people questions. It makes people like you more. Ask them anything: where they were born, what their parents do, what they want to do with their life. This works for getting a job (ask questions at the interview) as well as finding someone to love.
Any awkward silence can be cured with a simple question.
Nine
Read at least three books on personal finance. Like it or not, money is a central fact of life.
Ten
If you want to make art, answer the question WHY.
If you want to make money, answer the question HOW.
Example A: WHY do some people take off their sunglasses when talking to you in the street, while others leave them on? What does that say about two different types of people? I could put that in a novel.
Example B: That infernal globe of fire in the sky hurts my eyes. HOW could I make it less painful? Would a pair of dark glasses help to protect my eyes from the light? People might pay me for that.
Eleven
Spend less than you make. Even if it’s $10 less than you make. It’s a simple habit. You’ll also notice that most of what I regret turns around debt and money. That’s because people spend most of their lives getting out of the debt they begin to accumulate in their twenties.
Twelve
Travel. Children are on their way. So ride a motorcycle through Thailand, drink rum in Cuba, enjoy being young.
Thirteen
Don’t travel too much. There is nothing romantic about being 29, broke, and refusing to leave your literary friends in Germany to return to the reality of your life in America. Travelling is a vacation, not a philosophical vocation.
Fourteen
Read poetry. But for god sakes there’s no fucking living in that.
Fifteen
Read Paul Arden’s It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want to Be.
Sixteen
Get a job in the best and biggest company you can right away. It’s easy to leverage down (big company to small company), but hard to leverage up (dog-walker / part-time graphic designer, hey Google! Want to hire me?).
Seventeen
The good ones find a way. The next time you hit a roadblock remember this.
Eighteen
What do you want to do? Write a novel? Start a company? Be a world-famous photographer? Get started right away. Practice trumps theory.
Nineteen
The next time you are about to lecture someone, to preach at them, or to brag and show them how you are smart and they are dumb, remember this quote:
“People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”
Twenty
You will be a different person at the end of this decade than at the beginning. For that reason, you will probably ignore all of the advice above.
At least then remember this:
“Life is a cruel teacher. She gives the test first, then the lesson.”



Great list, you just forgot number 17. (I like to think you did it on purpose)
Hi Joanna,
Nope–completely forgot it.
Thanks for noticing. Guess I’ll have to think of one more.
I’m not sure why but your writing makes me feel really great. Maybe even a little hopeful. I’m glad I came across your blog.
Thanks my friend.
Can we send this to my 20 year old self? Please.
I completely agree with most. I half-agree with some. Good job, nonetheless!
To the one where you say, “Learn a hard skill, like programming,” I have to object to using programming as the example. Programming is a very competitive and specialized field and, in the USA, anyway, we are seeing a trend in which, if you’re not exceptional at it, your chances of getting a job are not that great.
Now, studying programming is a hundred times more practical than a Humanities PhD or even a degree in PR, and I’d advise somebody to study programming over poetry any day.
But I wouldn’t put it in the category of “hard skills.” It’s the type of work that you might not become good (or employable) at if you’re not excellent at it.
I too would advise people to learn hard skills, but I’d advise them to learn how to configure a router or how to build a bed (just a few examples off of the top of my head). Those are things that need to be done, but don’t necessarily need to be done by the “best of the best.” Those are the type of hard skills that are the most beneficial to learn, and are probably easier to learn, too.
I’d also advise people to learn the technical side of whatever it is they’re interested in… for instance, if you’re interested in filmmaking, you’ve got to take at least five minutes to learn the differences between codecs, or what a codec is. The excuse of “I’m not a technical person” no longer flies, and if it did still fly, then only the most technically inclined people would have any money or power in the world, and the world would be a worse place for it.
I also want to add something to the tip about going to university for only four years: do consider going to university for more than four years, but if you’re afraid that, after only four years, you’ll be completely unprepared for the real world, then you’re definitely doing something wrong.
I now regret saying the phrase “Good job, nonetheless.” I read it back and it looks patronizing. I really did like it and I hope that came through.
Not at all my friend–and I totally agree with this “’d also advise people to learn the technical side of whatever it is they’re interested in… for instance, if you’re interested in filmmaking, you’ve got to take at least five minutes to learn the differences between codecs, or what a codec is. The excuse of “I’m not a technical person” no longer flies, and if it did still fly, then only the most technically inclined people would have any money or power in the world, and the world would be a worse place for it.”
Hi, I don’t mean to be a wet sandwich here, but I completely disagree with your assessment that programming is not a good skill to have right now, especially for lost Humanities PhD’s. There is a large shortage of computer programmers, especially in languages that aren’t “fun” to learn.
I am a former humanities student who is a current programming student. I live in Madison, WI. There are several large-scale companies here who are desperate to find anyone with experience learning VB.Net. My school stopped teaching it because no one liked it and wanted to learn other things. If you were looking for a job and you spent a year learning VB.Net, you could find a job fairly quickly.
Those jobs aren’t going anywhere. It is costly to replace those large scale systems that run on that language. You don’t need to be the best person who ever programmed, you just need to be familiar with the language and somewhat competent.
Programming is ideal for people who enjoy humanities, in my opinion. It has grammer and syntax. Instead of writing a poem or a paper no one will read, you write a program that does something. It’s like what you would get if math and English had a baby.
That is my two cents. This is a great blog, I am enjoying it tremendously! Good show!
Hi Janie,
Thanks so much for your comment. It is good to hear stories like yours of humanities majors not afraid to think outside of the box and really develop new skills. Code is just as intellectually rewarding as any art. Anyone who says different is closed minded. Good luck on your new career.
–James
Again, blowing my mind. I particularly like 14: Read poetry. But for god sakes there’s no fucking living in that. Is it just me or does reading a swear word online make other people feel like they’re not that fucked up too? I love your site!
Hi Louiseykat,
I’m glad you are enjoying it
And I agree, sometimes nothing beats the f word. It was actually the second word of the first post I ever wrote on my blog—http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/2010/09/30/hello-world/
–James
Stumbling across this site was an answer to a prayer. I know it sounds dramatic and sappy but its completely true. You’ve answered so many questions and concerns I’ve had for the past 2 years and at a time in my life when I still have time to benefit from this advice. Thank you so much