Why a Ph.D in English is false advertising and how to rebuild your career and find meaning outside of academic jobs. This article talks about some of the grad school cliche students I’ve met and why new thinking is needed in order to reform higher education in the humanities.
Yesterday, while checking my blog’s analytics (the tool you can use to see how people find your blog), I found that a popular search phrase people use to find my site is this: “Ph.D. in English useless destroyed my life.”
I found this incredibly sad. To think that out there, in some library or little apartment, a newly minted Ph.D. in English is punching that awful, absurd phrase into his keyboard.
And what are they expecting to find with that search phrase? If you are reading this right now I’m sorry that my blog can’t offer you more direction.
But I thought for today, as a change, I wouldn’t write about my story. Instead, I would write about those other students who stayed much longer in grad school than I did.
This post is about the friends and peers I left behind in grad school. The ones who woke up today, dragging their book bags to class, walking home from the bus, and for those still up there, in the library for years and years working towards that massive goal of getting a Ph.D. in the humanities.
And for those searchers out there, typing “Ph.D. in English useless destroyed my life” into your MacBook with a wall of books at your back and a pile of debt, all I can say is that you’ve taken the hardest step.
You’ve accepted that graduate school is a trap and now can begin to rebuild and move onto something else.
These portraits are my friends, my peers, and some of the grad school cliches I met along my climb and fall. You can judge my snapshots as harshly as you want. But these are the people still running. They are real.
The Grad School research superstar
He was born to be a professor.
He published 2 articles by the end of his undergrad. The first year of his Ph.D., he published a long article on Hegel in a leading journal, and then an article on some mystic philosopher I’ve never heard of.
He has been studying philosophy since he was 15 years old. Not the pompous kind of studying. Not like me. Not carrying around Plato’s Dialogues and reading a few pages in public places. He has been systematic. He is an authentic thinker. He belongs in the university. His role is as a professor.
In his third year of his doctorate, he begins to study Kant, publishes a book chapter on ethics and being, and gets an article published in Critical Inquiry.
Grad school money flows to him. He easily makes more from his scholarships in grad school than he would as an assistant professor.
If he hadn’t gone to grad school in the humanities, he could have gone to law school. It would be sad to see a rich kid who barely passed the LSAT take on this guy in court.
Or he could have analyzed stock. He could have written a best-seller about marketing strategy or built a business with the same systematic accuracy which he used to understand the philosophy of Kant.
But he got into a very prestigious university. He was offered money and was miles ahead of any of his peers. He was offered a place among professors. They welcomed him. He was one of them.
This year I hear from him. He is still busy, publishing a chapter in the Rutledge Guide to Something, revising his dissertation with a Post-Doc, a little tired, but busy. This was his first year on the job market. No interviews. But this year the market was especially brutal. So, he goes back to writing.
He will try again next year, keep running. What else could he do? He’s too far into it now. And he still has 2 years of a Post-Doc to pay his rent. He still has his monograph to publish. He is still flourishing and coming of age as a scholar.
So next year. The second year of the Ph.D. job search. We will wait till then.
But isn’t it strange that when applying to grad schools he was eaten up, courted, money was thrown at him, grants, fellowships, and (I imagine) effusive praise from his professors.
Yet after his dissertation, he has gotten his first taste of the most difficult transition: from professional student to professional scholar.
He better get a job. And a good job. A job where he can create, think, and research. Not just teach 101 classes.
Because if he doesn’t get a tenure job it means that the humanities is simply wasting talent.
It means the humanities just finds talented young people, encourages them, develops them, indoctrinates them into their culture, harvests their energy to fill their journals, and then sends these people drifting, wasting their time and abilities.
If you aren’t going to use our thinkers to their best potential, then give them back academe. Or don’t hold them there so long, waiting.
I’ll hold my judgement a little longer, but he better get a job.
The confused artist
He doesn’t say much in class. But when it comes time for him to deliver his presentation, it shows that he works hard. He is a little behind the latest theoretical trends and his dissertation proposal sounds vague. Something on modernism and time.
That’s because he doesn’t really care about scholarship. He tells you, as you walk to class, that he is writing a novel. Working on his novel, as if everyone has one. I didn’t.
He sees graduate school as work. It isn’t his passion, but a legitimate way of trying to be an artist. He is safe to fail at his creative work here.
With an office and undergraduates to teach, he would be protected from failure. Just another professor without enough time to finish his creative work. Just another writer who makes their living at teaching.
I like him. The last time I see him we joke about how we will never get jobs. We laugh at the impossibility of our future careers ever actually happening. It’s hilarious.
We laugh at the Director’s anecdote about how he tosses out dozens of applications from newly minted Ph.D.’s everyday. That’s hilarious too.
We laugh about why they don’t make it. Outdated research interests. Books about theories that were fashionable five years ago. Confused blends of cultural theory and formalist theory. We won’t make those mistakes.
We laugh at the terrible presentation from a fellow grad student we just heard. The student’s thin sliver of an argument, packed under weeks of fact digging.
Or laugh at the schizophrenic multi-disciplinary research interests of mature student, tracking the relationship between neuroscience and Shakespeare. Try to find a department interested in that.
We laugh at the class, laugh at Toni Morrison, make up stupid titles for our papers, and congratulate each other on our fine work.
Then one day, I disappear. I got tired of laughing at the absurdity of one day finding a job with a Ph.D.
I wonder what happened to him. I hope he finished his novel, instead of his dissertation.
The popular, professional smart young women
They like each other. They like their professors. Other students like them. Their professors like them.
That’s because they are pretty, smart and professional.
For some reason, they all study Victorian culture. Visual culture. Social politics. The sexual politics of this and that.
They do everything right, including having each essay with the accepted title style. “Bleak Houses: The History of Martial Violence in Victorian Culture.” Or, “Serial Fiction: Jack the Ripper and the Influence of Low Culture on the Novelistic Discourse.”
They talk about the Strand as if it is still in circulation. They read over and over the longest, most terrible, most highly trampled novels in the language. But never mind that. They like it.
They are the first to attend conferences. They win awards. Most of the awards. The department hands them awards. The department hands them research positions, grants, and medals.
And who wouldn’t? They know how to network. They aren’t the “tortured genius” in the corner. They have more than just a wide collection of criticism quotes to offer.
If they weren’t in grad school pontificating about the diorama or finding ways to reinterpret the sludge of Dickens into an new exciting format, they would have bullet careers in marketing, advertising, law degrees, sales, and glide up the corporate ladder.
It seems like they don’t even work. Yet, they produce articles, winning presentations, and write great lesson plans. They work very hard. They are meticulous, ambitious, and very nice.
They want traditional things. A good job, accomplishment, a big house, maybe children. But they delay those things to get Ph.D’s. They are investing, building, waiting.
They deserve jobs. I think they probably have an edge. Being outgoing, optimistic, and a nice person has to tip the scales when you are faced with two candidates with the same qualifications.
They also deserve jobs. And success. They’ve done all the work.
The perpetual, self-delusional adult grad student
He has just returned from Europe, and the three month trip allowed him, as he tells you on the bus, “to really continue my study of literature and culture.”
As nobody else seems to be able to make their grad support stretch much past rent and bills, let alone a trip abroad, it seems likely that his intellectual odyssey has some other form of support, like a parent.
He dyes his hair to cover the gray and one day decides that he isn’t a student anymore. School is his job.
And so, he begins to dress like a new assistant professor, carrying his books around in a briefcase.
He tells me one day while we are waiting for class to begin that his career plan is to, simply, “swap roles with the professor, go from student to teacher.”
I look around the room and realize we all have that same idea. The economics seem a little off.
But he doesn’t like games. He doesn’t like the administration side of academe, the chase for grants and awards, and so his name doesn’t appear much around the department.
But he is there. He walks through the hallways, greeting a professor in German.
Herr Doctor. The professor says something in German. And his response, a laugh with nein, nein, Herr Doctor.
I was never convinced he was fluent.
He sits in the Grad student lounge, drinking coffee and reading the campus paper. He has been there for years and years. I don’t even know who his supervisor is or what he is even writing on.
When a professor takes us out for drinks after a seminar, he gets drunk. He talks about “the ruined landscapes of literary history.” It seems a little vague for the 7th year of study.
He tells us that he intends to spend his lifetime trying to understand Saint Augustine. Or Virgil. Or one of the great books of Western Civilization.
He is a humanist. He hates his graduate seminars as they make us write small essays like undergraduates. Grad school is his arrival. He feels that he has made the transition from student to scholar.
During class, he speaks cryptically about Shakespeare. The professor looks embarrassed.
The professor has been called “one of the most prolific literary scholars in Canada, an intellectual force of nature.”
The professor has written 11 scholarly works.
And the professor probably wonders at what point during his prestigious lifetime did grad school stop being a place for serious academic training for a few elite young scholars and turn into an extended career delay for undergraduates, a fantasy land for over-grown adults to imagine their love of Shakespeare and culture would one day translate into income and a title.
I still see the student around town. He crosses the street, with a sharp coat and briefcase. He is heading somewhere. Determined and well-dressed.
The confused, the hopeless nerd
The hopeless nerd.
The one who has been trained to think that school is the only place that welcomes her, that grad school is her reward for years of studying and exile.
Grad school is a way to turn her passion for books, mythology, and love for esoteric areas of expertise into social prestige and income. She is the most committed and I don’t know how it ends for her.
She gives long, long presentations, making allusions to the difference between the original Old English text and its bastardized, inferior translation every two minutes.
Her presentations are so long that the professor stops her and asks her to finish. She doesn’t listen but concedes by speaking faster and faster.
Every word is a pearl that she has to share.
In her essays, her footnotes explode into other footnotes, which reference other footnotes and begin rival the bulk of her essay.
I would be surprised if anyone on the planet, other than herself, has read a single one of her footnotes. She loves the apparatus of her text, and loves calling it an apparatus.
Her ambition is extreme.
During a class presentation on a modernist writer, she will suddenly break out laughing and then explain that while she was reading the last section she almost switched into Old English. You are encouraged, by her, to interpret that as evidence of her fluency between the two languages.
She continues to write papers after she has graduated, posting her latest results on Facebook. She is now an independent scholar. She is invited to talk on Medieval topics at conferences. She has been to over 15 conferences, almost all of them on her own money. I have never heard of any publications.
She is smart. She has won awards. She could have done other things. She lives 500 years away from her own historical moment. She is proud of that.
At a career fair, she tells us, the recruitment officer from a government agency asked if she was interested in hearing about their positions. She told them she doubted they could use her expertise which is a Ph.D. in Old English poetry. I’m sure they agreed and flagged down the next accounting diploma.
Does she know how hard it is to get a tenure job as a Medievalist?
Think of all the English departments in North America. Think of your own English department. There might be 20 professors who teach modern and contemporary literature.
How many Medievalist professors? Two, three?
How many positions across North America open up every year? Twenty? Ten?
Whatever number it is, it will be a number that will only shrink. The children of the future will not be studying Beowulf. I have two English degrees and I never even read it.
She is betting her future on a dead language. It is a past language of empire that has long been buried. Latin, Greek, Old English—in 50 years, nobody will care to learn them. Hardly anyone cares now.
But these things make her happy. They are what she wants to do. You can’t grudge her for that.
She will most likely continue as an adjunct. She might teach a few community college courses on Chaucer. Or, maybe land a tenure job, but the odds are against her.
Maybe she will be happy with that. Maybe having a Ph.D. is all she needs to feel accomplished. Maybe she likes to feel like an exile, a fringe scholar.
Maybe grad school is right for her.
Leaving, at last, the cliche of me
And then there was me. I’m out there somewhere, on some grad’s blog. The guy who used to talk a lot in class, and argue aggressive points, and then who started to talk less and less. Silent judgements. Withdrawal.
I call these the doomed humanities majors. But that is extreme. They aren’t doomed only a little lost.
A PhD in English doesn’t destroy your life. It’s just false advertising. Grad school is false advertising.
It spits you out somewhere you never expected to be. It leads you towards a final goal, which turns out to be another goal, a new set of challenges to climb.
And you are tired at the top. You only packed for 10 years of flux, not 20.
The purists will argue for preserving the humanities: it is the proper study of knowledge which shouldn’t be made to answer to commercial demands.
But higher education is too formalized to be called pure learning. It is too geared towards the production of new knowledge, new scholars, new theoretical interventions to be a place where thinkers come to dialogue and to sit and converse in the garden.
Grad school and the chase for tenure is a rat race just like any career. Only it has a very low chance for success and very modest financial reward at the end of it.
That doesn’t mean it needs to be destroyed. But it needs to be rethought.
When I told my Director I was dropping my PhD scholarship because of the job market, I expected him to say: don’t be silly, our graduates get jobs. We are one of the top 25 universities in the world! We place Ph.D’s in tenure track jobs all the time!
But instead he said that I had made the right decision not to do a PhD in the humanities if “my only reason for doing so was to get a job.”
Yes sir, it was. To be able to think for a living was the nice perk. But I did expect to get some sort of compensation for my work.
Sorry for being such a vulgar, thoughtless, and commercial fraud.
Why higher education in the humanities won’t survive
Change is one of the least thought about topics in university because the university is, as it exists now, reactionary. It studies change after the world has exploded its shape into something the old patterns can no longer recognize.
The university is a parasite; it needs the world more than the world needs it.
Without change, all of those cliche grad students I talked about will reappear next application season. They will go on to publish monograph after monograph until the library finally closes down due to the fact that nobody reads monographs except to find something to argue against in another monograph.
Your children will meet them. You might teach them.
“If you follow the same steps as everyone else, you will end up in the same place.”
Make a new pattern.
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Hahah the confused artist was the most like me only without a novel…thanks for the referral and all the support. And for all the comments which make the blog fun….james
Hi! Just found your blog (through Versatile PhD) and can’t wait to read more. I’m trying to think of more grad student stereotypes, but can’t seem to add any to the list!
Hi Alternative phd,
haha thanks for reading. I was sure there was a few more myself but couldn’t think of any more either–maybe I should do a post on grad faculty professor cliches next–the young serious scholar, the tenured poetry professor who never writes anything, never prepares for class, and you are pretty sure is high on pot, the bitter adjunct, the research superstar jerk…..
[...] “PhD in English Useless Destroyed my Life”: A Selloutyoursoul Reader Writes In [...]
Thanks for your post… As someone struggling to find the purpose to finish my 89% finished PhD in sociology (not humanities but might as well be) your words are, well “misery loves company” seems more appropriate but equally “comforting”. Thanks for sharing. peace.
Thanks Andrew and don’t forget to finish that Phd as you are almost at the top…. Plenty of time to sellout after… Thanks for reading James @ selloutyoursoul
I wrote long comments yesterday but they never appeared. What gives?
OK, I’ll try again. I thought this post was spot on. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Seriously, I really enjoyed remembering all the crazy grad students I encountered in school. And so many of them resembled the types listed here. Things really don’t seem to change much, do they?
Glad to welcome you to the fun-fun world of post-academic blogs. Hope you keep up the lively posts. I’m looking forward to reading more!
Hi Eliza,
I’m glad you found some of these grad school cliches as well (was worried I might be the only one). And sorry your long comment didn’t appear. I checked the spam filter, but it wasn’t there. Thanks for commenting. Always nice to hear feedback.
Thanks
James @selloutyoursoul.com
What about the debt? I was told that if I wanted to succeed I needed to augment the lack of prestige on my state school BA with a terminal masters. My terminal masters adviser advised me to get loans to augment the small funding from my TA. She said, if you get a job, you won’t finish. I accrued considerable debt (like a law student) before I applied for PhD. I got into a prestigious school. I took out a couple loans when I needed funds for research. The debt is perhaps most important. Once you are in debt you begin to say to yourself, well, I have so much debt in this that I have to succeed.
Your list is dead-on (I would post the “popular, professional smart young women” to my Facebook page but I’d lose some friends if they took it personally).
But you forgot one cliche, maybe because they don’t appear in BC. I knew a lot of them in the American south: the working-class child who was taught to believe in education as a gateway to security and success, to trust institutions, and to be too afraid of authority to ask the right questions. That was me, and a lot of other grad school kids I’ve known. Most of them had the good sense to give it up after the MA and look for something reliable.
But I got the PhD. One year of no interviews from 85-100 applications (lost count). I don’t even tell people I meet that I have a PhD. The only things I sign as “Dr” are desperate cover letters. But applying to jobs outside of academia, they want to know what I’ve been doing with the last ten years of my life. I’m going to start saying “coma.”
Gabe,
Loved your comment about the ‘coma.’ And I think I would probably be close also to the cliche that saw education as a gateway to success. Not working class but lower-middle class and naive all the same.
I hope you find something soon. One of my professors sent out about 1,000 applications before landing his first job so don’t take it personally.
James, the writer @ selloutyoursoul.com
I really enjoyed this post. So true. I especially found your take on the smart and pretty young women (they really *do* seem to always study Victorian stuff) and the adult grad student (the briefcase observation is spot on – there’s always some kind of adultish accoutrement on these guys).
I left after an MA in English, too. Considered law school. I was accepted into much better law schools than English programs – the class sizes of law schools and their almost exclusive reliance on LSAT scores and GPAs worked in my favor. I confirmed enrollment in the best law school that accepted me – what else was I conditioned to do?
I even went to first-week orientation. There I met cohorts who went to much, much better undergraduate or MA programs than I had gone to. People with Master’s degrees in Economics from Oxford, and such. Even a few PhDs. A number of them told me that they had wanted to be lawyers or judges since they were kids.
Needless to say, this scared the crap out of me, as I quickly assumed, rightly I think, that I was going to finish last in my class and barely graduate, if at all. Maybe I should have enrolled at a less prestigious place (and don’t at all mean to sound boastful – see above. I have ordinary talent and accomplishments compared to the humanities graduate population as a whole).
I worked regular jobs for a couple of years and then went to library school. Figured I’d become an acadmic librarian, work on the campus of a nice little liberal arts college, and maybe take a class here and there for fun. So far, this has worked out. And so I feel a bit lucky. I was always interested in the dilettantish aspects of a professor’s life anyway – I’m no scholar, I realize that. So if there’s one thing I recommend for the PhD or Job Market dropout – it’s library school.
Thanks Karl–glad you eventually found a job with your Ph.D. that you enjoy.
james @ selloutyoursoul.com
While Karl K has a point, I want to make sure folks know that the Library fallback, while tempting and definitely offering better odds than the humanities Ph.D market, is pretty far from a cakewalk itself, and has only gotten more selective in the 5-ish years since I’ve graduated. Our last para-professional (i.e. BA only required) position at a smallish state school in flyover land garnered almost 30 applications, at least half of whom had some sort of graduate degree.
Also, I strongly suggest you read up on some of the issues that might be mid-to-long term threats to the academic library as we know it, though they don’t differ all that much from what’s facing many humanities programs. In addition, this is NOT a career where you can hide in your office and read–there is a lot of customer service and teaching involved in almost any position that is not in the process of being automated or outsourced to one of the major vendors. Research time will be scarce unless you get into one of the larger schools that provides tenure to librarians. While academic librarianship is great work if you can get it, I also have an entrepreneurial backup plan on the back burner if the more apocalyptic scenarios for Librarianship come to pass.
Long story short, do your homework first, and ask your favorite reference librarian (the younger, the better) to give you the scoop on how it really works in your local area.
The points made in reply to my post are excellent ones that should of course be considered by anyone thinking about library school. My main point was to remind those humanities graduate students who, like me, like working in an academic setting but aren’t necessarily scholar material, that there is this other field to consider, and it can offer an entry point to a good campus job.
The academic librarian job market is difficult, much more so than I expected. It’s also highly specialized, so it’s not like you can take your MLS and apply to every job that’s out there.
On the plus side, though, I would note that degrees in information science are versatile and that a great many organizations in government and corporate land seek people who can provide information management expertise. A lot of people in my cohort have landed very nice, high-paying, careers outside academia. So I think it offers a chance to get on campus with a professional job while providing a nice fallback plan, too.
I hope I’m not puffing it up, and I highly recommend the advice given in the post replying to my own about learning more about the degree and the profession.
I came over here from the CHE article, and like your blog a lot. As you probably know, it’s the latest iteration of leaving-academia blogs that started with (at least to my knowledge) Invisible Adjunct; back then the eye-opening essay wasn’t Benton’s but Tim Burke’s “Should I Go To Graduate School?” I c an also tell that you are in the same place I was when I found those blogs–angry and sad about leaving academia. For what it’s worth, things do get better! I hope in particular that you won’t let yourself be misled by the grad school myth that all the jobs outside academia are unintellectual — or the implied corollary that people outside academia aren’t interesting/smart/etc. It can take a while to find your niche, but there are (one hopes even in this economy) challenging jobs to be had and genuinely productive work to be done outside the ivory tower (work that may also lead you to question some of what went on in the ivory tower). Good luck.
Monboddo–I will check out that article. Thanks. And I hope to live a very intellectually satisfying life outside of academe. Thanks for your comment.
I’d agree totally with your list of individuals in grad school. However, I’d disagree with you about the world outside grad school. There’s lots of interesting jobs to be found and a fair number of people who have fled academia for more a life that was more fulfilling, paid more and meant that they didn’t spend their lives wondering whether they’ve live above the breadline…and continue to challenge them mentally. I suspect that this myth, that the outside world isn’t ‘good enough’ is perpetuated whilst we’re in graduate school..by whom I’m not sure. However, it’s there. But as ever the real issue is precisely how does one redeploy those marketable skills.
Hi Anthea,
Thanks for reading–I never said, though, that there aren’t interesting jobs to be found outside of academia. My intent with my blog is actually to expose the narrow-minded thinking that keeps many grad students stuck in the “academia-career or nothing.” That position isn’t made in this article, but if you have some time, take a look at the “about selloutyoursoul.com” section and I have a mission statement there. But thanks for making me clarify that because I wouldn’t want people to think that they can’t have an interesting life outside of academe.
James @selloutyoursoul.com
Jaded. Cynical. What a shame, you all.
Thanks Carmella,
We do really try. Enjoy the rest of your time at grad school.
James @ selloutyoursoul.com
I think one of the issues surrounding the perception that the world outside academia is intellectually unchallenging, unstimulating, and so on, has to do with the fact that there is such a divide in our culture between “everyday” life and the life of the mind.
I felt this most when I left academia. What I loved most about graduate school was that it was like a conveyor belt of friends for me, friends who liked discussing ideas and joking about books. I have found that this community is a great deal harder to find or to form outside of graduate school. You can join book clubs, or take the odd class, but it’s hard to replicate that atmosphere.
Being a reader in our culture means, to a large extent, being on your own.
Hi Karl,
That was definitely one of the biggest adjustments for me. You feel at home in a graduate seminar talking about interesting things all day. I hardly ever talk about ideas anymore, but that also doesn’t mean that smart people are only found in the department halls. Thanks for the comment.
James @ selloutyoursoul.com
@Gabe: You have described another student stereotype so well. I strongly relate to your comment because I am “the working-class child” who was taught that education was the key to life’s success: If I excelled in school, then I would find a great career and not be stuck working at the chemical plants like my family members. Here I am 29 years-old, 2/3 of the way through an English PhD, and I realize that my prospects of finding an enjoyable, secure job are pretty slim. The worst part is realizing that it was all a lie that was perpetuated both by my own mistaken beliefs and by a pushy undergrad prof. However, the best part is that (although it took a depressive breakdown and counseling for me to realize this), I am now able to see that I am worth so much more than a stupid degree. Previously, I based all of my self worth on achieving this goal and devoted most of my energy to school. Now, since I know the PhD is pretty worthless, I can justify no longer focusing all of my time and energy on it. There are other important things in life (family, friends, vacations) that I permit myself to enjoy without apology. Thus, the benefit of learning that the PhD is a trap is that some of the psychological pressure is “off.” Had I not come to graduate school, I probably would not have challenged my core beliefs about education and might have spent my entire life feeling like a failure for not pursuing grad school. Now, I realize that I am not a failure but rather someone who was extremely naive. That’s OK. The realization of the lie of the Humanities PhD has freed me in a sense. But will I ever finish the damn dissertation with this attitude? I don’t know.
@ EnglishPhD – I finished the dissertation with that attitude. I even enjoyed some of it, since my love of writing is what sent me into the English major in the first place. That wasn’t the hard part. The hard part is providing housing and food for my family with a couple of part-time jobs while I look for real work, and trying to find the will to revise dissertation chapters for publication so I can reasonably expect to apply for academic jobs another year.
Have you ever analyzed stock? It can be pretty freaking boring. And even if you can pull it off for a couple of years while you’d really rather be chatting with smart folks about ideas, it gets to the point where it’s difficult to take your day job seriously.
For some people, and I think people who pursue extremely difficult projects like Ph.D.s are exactly those, nothing will ever be completely satisfying. Whatever you’re doing, you have to evaluate it in relation to other options. Aiming for some goal is still worth a try. Anybody can feel regret for not choosing some other occupation — especially when the downsides of that other occupation are unknown.
Hello, all. I was not a particularly good undergraduate student, but was smart enough to get through a program in Religion at a small private liberal arts school in the southeastern United States. Afterward, I took a sales job that I hated, and decided to apply to graduate school. I was accepted into an MA program in Philosophy, and became a better student, and then got accepted into a mid-ranked PhD program. I did well in my classes, and felt as if I was making up for my lack of effort as an undergrad. I loved the environment, and like most graduate students, really felt the life of the mind was my calling. I knew I was no great scholar, and would have been quite pleased with a teaching only position at a community college or small university. Somewhere between the MA and the PhD program, I got married, and had a child. I managed to finish course work, but financial realities soon forced my hand, and I abandoned the PhD pursuit. I have found it difficult to find good employment, although I am grateful that I have a full-time job. (making less than I was making at that sales job I hated right out of college) I am now in my mid 30′s, with only a few years of professional experience on my resume, and there are times (like now) when I feel like quite a failure. It is difficult sometimes when friends from my undergraduate institution are 15 years or so into successful careers, while I’m trying to make ends meet with a family in tow.
Hi Chris,
Thanks for sharing your story. The low-pay that graduate degrees leave you with is very hard. Try not to be hard on yourself and good for you for taking care of your family, rather than dragging out the dissertation for a few more years.
-James @selloutyoursoul.com
You’ve never read Beowulf?!?
What a smart approach to a search term! (Many of the ones that go to Post Academic involve “James Franco” and “academics are stupid.”) The story of the first person is a real punch in the gut. I, for one, am upset that someone so smart isn’t getting a job. I have known way too many people put in that position. They did everything right. They did everything better, but … Meritocracy, my foot.
I’ve known many talented academics who get jobs, but even they admit a little luck and timing played a part in their success.
I think the Confused Artist is the real survivor here. He gets his satisfaction from his work on the novel, and he doesn’t tie it to the praise and grades given by others. If you’re going to make it in grad school, you have to keep a small kernel of yourself safe and strong, and then you won’t feel like you have to start all over when making a transition.
[...] his reflections about whether turning away from academia was the right thing to do. He offers a frighteningly accurate portrayal of the different types of characters who end up at graduate school. Here’s his cynical thoughts about how liberal artsy types become cynical about their newly [...]
Nice Post.
I would be the confused artist of the bunch as well… But I didn’t continue on with it with no purpose, just decided it wasn’t for me and wanted to focus on writing, not being a scholar. But, it did take me actually entering to figure out what it was all about, so I am still glad I got that itch out otherwise it would. I have found writers groups to be just as good for what purposes I am looking for. I considered MFA as well but again, writers groups… I have no interesting in teaching.
Best of Luck.
Great blog. I found it recently and think you have a lot of interesting things to say. A few years ago I returned to college at 32 years old. I considered teaching English at the middle school or high school level, for a few different reasons. But in a matter of weeks (rather than years), I experienced the same sense of disillusionment that you describe.
Why?
Here’s a key part: MS, workin’ stiff, going for Ph.D wrote “…even if you can pull it [i.e., a day job] off for a couple of years while you’d *really rather be chatting with smart folks about ideas,* it gets to the point where it’s difficult to take your day job seriously.”
In my estimation, English departments are not full of smart people; to the contrary, many of the pillars of English in academia are almost embarrassingly anti-intellectual and ignorant of their ignorance. The textbook for my “critical introduction to literature” class was a joke. The first chapter was on Marxist Criticism … but professional economists haven’t taken Marx seriously for at least 20 years (and even during and shortly after Marx’s lifetime there were some devastating critiques of his scholarship, none of which was even hinted at in the textbook.) The second chapter was on “Psychoanalytic Criticism” … but old-school psychoanalysis is basically dead, and strict Freudianism has been largely discredited and has next to zero credibility amongst professional psychologists and psychiatrists; let’s not even mention the ridiculous overpraise of Jacques Lacan, a pernicious narcissist whose bizarre ideas have zero empirical support and never had anywhere near mainstream acceptance even in Freudian psychoanalysis. The third chapter was on “Feminist Criticism,” and based on two studies, one of which was debunked over a decade ago, the textbook’s author claimed there was no biological basis for behavioral differences between the sexes; the professor refused to discuss my objections to the textbook (such as Leonard Sax’s book “Why Gender Matters,” which explains that men and women’s brains differ at the cellular level!
I dropped the class, and was shocked that an ostensibly well-educated professor with a doctorate could believe, and teach, such demonstrably inaccurate information. It was a real eye opener for me, and turned me away from studying English.
Hi JDizz,
Thanks–and send us a link to any writing you might be doing, if you feel like sharing. Good luck and thanks for reading.
James from selloutyoursoul.com
Hi CC,
Thanks for your comment. I agree–English criticism is often very slow moving and very trendy.
Thanks for reading.
James from selloutyoursoul.com
Those stories are wonderful! And I recognize fringes of myself in each story
I literally gasped while reading “the perpetual self-delusional adult grad student” story. This guy was in my grad program as well. Incredible likeness, down to Herr Doktor and sharp coat, briefcase.
I feel that for many of us grad school is about choosing identity, not a profession. And somehow a lot of us (I did this!) presume that our thoroughgoing commitment this identity will eventually translate into a professorial job.
Great blog!
Hi Nina,
It is about choosing an identity, a hard thing to lose. Thanks for reading.
James @ selloutyoursoul.com
I recently left a mid-ranked PhD program after 3 years. I had gone into the program with a masters, after really enjoying my experience in the masters program, and having become, as many of you can relate, enchanted with the prospects of becoming a prof of English. I’m still questioning to what a degree it was a mistake.
I finished everything, went ABD with a prospectus, wrote a first chapter which I’d spent a year revising, and then decided I no longer knew what I was working for. When I saw on this post the cliche of the student writing about modernism and time, I chuckled and felt a stab of self-pity, as it could sum up that first chapter quite well.
I made my decision to leave in May, informed my advisors, who were both shocked and completely understanding (I had been a determined and committed grad student), and was fortunate to work out a deal where I could finish my dissertation on my own time (how long will this take? 1 year? 25?). I had two years of funding remaining, which I could have used to finish, only to get out and have to still switch careers.
The fact is, this is a numbers game. Nobody, especially all the intelligent people who wind up in PhD programs, should have any illusions about the numbers. There are a small number of jobs (both tenure and non-tenure track) posted every year for qualified PhD holding candidates, and a large pool of those candidates. That’s it. Not everyone can get a job. But it’s easy, and human nature, to think that those numbers don’t apply to us. Many of us are, after all, romantics.
I know how it feels to share these illusions, but I will say, getting out has undoubtedly made me me a happier person. Somebody somewhere on this post mentioned us being jaded and cynical. I may have been, in the program, but am a much more positive, satisfied person working towards practical and achievable goals. Included in the reasons I left was the culture of negativity and self-pity. Many intellectuals love deriding a positive attitude as a naive, typically American characteristic. It is this condescension I couldn’t stand. I love books, and ideas, and am an enthusiast, and want to remain that way.
Finally, switching careers has, to say the least, not been easy, especially in this economy. I managed to get an internship at an ad agency, and while still chasing that permanent job, I have loved my time there, in the people, the culture, and the job satisfaction. To be honest, I was miserable as a grad student, with no sense of where the future would take me. Today, I am unquestionably more confident and positive. Even more, I have rediscovered my love of reading. Keep your chin up!
To Stephen,
I’m glad that you had the courage to pull the plug even though you were mid stream. That’s awesome you got an internship at an ad agency. I’ve also done a copywriting internship at a local ad agency. Advertising and marketing is filled with creative, smart people. I’m trying now to develop my marketing knowledge and skills and get a full-time job as a writer. Good luck and I’m glad that you are happy with your decision. Me too.
James from Selloutyoursoul.com
Thanks for posting this on the day that I was bluntly told that English will never be financially stable. I believe that I just needed to hear the words. Oh, it had been hinted at for the past 4 years since I left Chicago/grad school, but there it was in black and white. I am an adjunct teacher and I love my job. However, like you, I want to be able to afford to live. You know – perks, like having health insurance, affording a reliable car, being able to rectify my credit, paying off my students loans (which cost about the same as my house).
Although it seems that we are in agreement, do you have any suggested solutions that don’t include a carpeted cubicle?
Seeking,
C
Hi C,
I hate to be annoying, but there really isn’t an easy answer. Basically, my goal is to not make the same mistake twice. I would advise doing something a little less abstract, a skill. Technical writing typically has the highest earning potential for English majors. Working in the government would also be an option.
I plan to turn your question into a full post, but here is something to think about. It comes from the marketer / philosopher Seth Godwin:
“You must become indispensable to thrive in the new economy. The best ways to do that are to be remarkable, insightful, an artist, someone bearing gifts. To lead. The worst way is to conform and become a cog in a giant system.” (Linchpin by Seth Godwin).
By “artist,” Seth Godwin means someone who produces things, not just another person hoping that a job will be provided for them.
I think the mistake we made was to aim for that old fashioned goal of working hard and then getting a place in the system of academe. The system exploded. Everyone had the same idea.
I know that this isn’t very helpful. I will add a new post in a few weeks about this topic with some more practical options. But my advice would be to keep teaching and try to develop a skill that is indispensable to people on the side. I don’t know your talents. I don’t know what would be a better job than teaching for you.
But for me, I am trying to develop writing skills that I can help people with. The downside is that I write about, for example commercial sealers or web copy for a gas fitter company, rather than writing about aesthetics and culture. The upside is that I feel that I am developing some financial autonomy over my future–and I don’t have to chase grants or the salary of a dying department.
Thanks for the question.
James from selloutyoursoul.com
Yeah, I know those people. You missed those of us who finished the fucking degree and then ran screaming away from academia, using the PhD for something else.
I’m a combination of all these types, mainly The popular, professional smart young women and The Grad School research superstar. I actually took a Law class as an undergraduate (just for funsies) and nailed it! But no, I had to follow my passion and finished a PhD in History of Science – conveniently forgetting that I might one day have to earn a living. Big mistake.
[...] “PhD in English Useless Destroyed My Life: A Selloutyoursoul.com Reader Writes In” [...]
I am fortunate enough to have a Ph.D in Rhetoric and Composition, a field with much better job placement rates than most other humanities. I still make it a point to tell every undergrad I have who thinks about grad school, and every applicant to my university (I handle graduate admissions), the dire state of the job market.
Is it possible for post-docs to find success in non-academic writing? For example, I would imagine that a PhD is still necessary training for those who want to to write popular histories or biographies.
I finished my ph.d and got a tenure track job in Asia, which is a burgeoning humanities job-market, although it must be said that ‘tenure’ isn’t really tenure here, and they can change the rules whenever they like. Even so, these are great jobs with conditions equivalent to those at an R1 institution in the states. I feel very lucky to have such a job because I drew a blank on the American market. It makes me wonder why when my department advertised a few jobs this year it got almost no interest from America.
That said, I identify with the person who described himself as an enthusiast, and I find that academia doesn’t really nurture enthusiasts, at least not those of my type. I’m considering getting out of this business, in part because I don’t want to spend my time contriving ‘interventions’ in materialist scholastic debates that don’t really matter to me, which is what you have to do to keep your job in the neoliberal university? I’d rather write advertising copy, and read the things I want to read in the evening without being intellectually exhausted.
Even though I feel alienated from the materialist intellectual culture of the humanities, and from the neoliberal business ethos of the university, the fact remains that I got paid to read books for eight years. I didn’t read the books I should have read to be a research superstar, and they’ll probably cut me loose before I get tenure because I haven’t contributed enough to the university brand-name, but that’s okay. I’ve contributed a lot to the life of my department and the lives of my students. I’d probably care more if I was at home rather than in what to me is a strange part of the world. I want to go home.
Although this is one of the more civilised comment-threads I’ve found on the internet, I’m still struck by the absence of a sense of gratitude for the immense privilege of getting paid to pursue your intellectual interests, even for a time. I lived on a grad-student stipend for six years, and while it wasn’t an affluent lifestyle, it’s a hell of a lot better than being on welfare, or working in a kitchen, both of which I’ve done. Like one commenter above, I regarded grad-school as a job I was doing for a few years, and I was grateful for it for as long as I had it. Here’s hoping I won’t end up back on welfare when I leave here, and that my academic skills will translate in some way into another sphere of life.
Hi AssistantProfessor,
“Although this is one of the more civilised comment-threads I’ve found on the internet, I’m still struck by the absence of a sense of gratitude for the immense privilege of getting paid to pursue your intellectual interests, even for a time.”
It’s true–the whole PhD thing is defiantly a very middle class problem to have and there are worse fates and problems to overcome.
Thanks for the comment.
James from Selloutyoursoul.com
Thank God I found this site today! You’ve cheered me up….
I’m finishing an MA iin Philosophy of Religion this summer and have no job prospects in sight. I’m considering doing a further MA by research in my area (Prof. says not quite ready for PhD) just to carry on, er, well, with what’s familiar… and who knows, by the time I’ve done another MA, the job market might welcome me with open arms!!
Seriously, whilst what I’ve achieved academically sometimes impresses the ‘people of the world’ – they don’t offer me jobs. I see almost no way to translate my learning into an everyday, paid existence… I should have thought ahead when this foray into academia began some years ago.
My professors have almost all of them been keen to encourage me to progress – but, cynically speaking, they would be. After all, it ensures them a continued academic ‘living’, doesn’t it?
Oh yes, I’m cynical and worried about my future – can you tell, lol.
But glad I found this blog… Thanks James.
Thanks Semayden,
Glad you found it too. I’m doing an interview tomorrow with a really interesting company that helps liberals arts majors sell their skills to employers…so stay tuned. It should be up in about 2 weeks (There is an email subscription option for new posts, if you are interested in that).
Good luck and all the best,
James from Selloutyoursoul
[...] “PhD in English Useless Destroyed My Life.” [...]
[...] “PhD in English Useless Destroyed My Life.” [...]
[...] “PhD in English Useless Destroyed My Life.” [...]
I enjoyed this post; very valuable for “scaring straight” those still drinking the Kool-Aid.
As for me: I entered as an older student, who was already educated and knew what I wanted my dissertation to be on when I was an undergrad. I got several grants and scholarships, finished with low student debt, and finished ahead of schedule. Several professors liked and helped me, including a “big name.”
But I was at odds with the “theory” of the day.The slightly older generation of scholars I cared about (including my “big name”) were all out of fashion, and I realized several years out that a tenure-track job wasn’t going to happen.
I take little comfort in seeing how those once-dominant and seemingly all- consuming theories have almost completely receded like a spent wave, leaving a few tenured barnacles who caught the wave at the right time and are now irrelevant space-wasters in the academy. Not only was the “theory bubble” analogous to the financial bubble, it was directly parasitic on the latter. All “theory” did was to make the humanities a laughingstock among that portion of the educated public that bothered to care. It contributed directly to today’s cynicism about higher education.
Grad school wasn’t a terrible or angst-ridden experience for me: just a complete waste of time with regard to my subsequent working life, except for the “chance” to spend 18 years as a low-paid adjunct with no security while working other jobs, none of which had anything to do with what I spent grad school doing, and trying to develop an alternate path. While the personal qualities that helped me get the degrees were still relevant in my subsequent jobs, the credentials themselves were of ZERO value in my working life, and I often conceal them to avoid intimidating or alienating others.
After years of temporary, part-time jobs that that ended for reasons other than my performance (my boss’ contracts with clients ran out, etc.)—including making sandwiches in a coffee shop in my early 50s while looking—I now have a fulfilling (but still low-paid) job with colleagues and bosses who like me and where I can be productive, so I can’t complain too much given today’s employment climate.
But if I hadn’t spent those years in grad school, where would I be in this field now? A lot farther ahead.
Thanks for your comment—I mentioned it in a new post–http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/2011/11/22/risk-of-doing-a-phd-in-the-humanities/ I think that your comment is a powerful warning–thanks for writing.
James from Selloutyoursoul
[...] wave”: the risk of PhD specialization TweetToday, a reader left a valuable comment on an older post of mine.I thought that I would share [...]
Wow. I wish I would have read that two years ago!
I got a lot of perspective from the comment section of this article – thanks everyone who chimed in!
[...] PhD in English ‘Useless Destroyed My Life’: A Sellout Reader Writes In [...]
Little late to the party here, but I’ve found this very enlightening. My wife is strongly encouraging me to go back for my PhD in English (throwing good money after bad with my Masters in the same field) because I cannot find a job with my Masters…I think this is a pointless endeavor, but I’ve been at it for three months (not to mention looking for a job with my BA for 3 years before that) with nary a nibble on the job-search lure….I’m close to giving up hope, and every day my minimum wage job at a retail store drains a little more of my soul away.
Any advice? Clearly you agree I shouldn’t go back for my Doctorate, but where on earth can I find a job in this economy with a useless degree
Hi Dresdor,
I can appreciate what you are going through–most of my family also thought I was silly not to do a PhD as it would, they thought, lead to more job opportunities–but searching for a non-academic job with a MA or PhD is the same as searching one with a BA.
While I can’t really advise to your particular situation as I don’t , for example, know the economic situation where you live (some cities are easier to find work in, so moving might be one solution if the economy is really bad where you live), but here are some resources. My general advice is to set out some type of weekly plan and set some realistic goals in making your resume more attractive to employes–as you will probably recognize in this article — http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/2012/02/17/how-to-not-find-a-job-ma-phd/—just applying for jobs with no larger plan can be very depressing and defeating.
Other resources from my blog: the Ultimate Guide to Finding a Job as an English Major: http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/2011/05/27/the-ultimate-guide-to-finding-jobs-as-an-english-major/
And: 35 Awesome Jobs for English Majors http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/2011/12/19/jobs-for-english-majors/
And—I hope this doesn’t sound promotional—but basically everything I really have to say and all the advice I have learned, and all the feedback from employers I have received from writing this blog I put into my book How to Find a Career with your Humanities Degree in 126 Days. You can find that here: http://www.selloutyoursoul.com/how-to-find-a-career-with-your-humanities-degree-in-126-days
I basically wanted to make it the most practical career resource out there–and designed specially for someone with a degree, stuck, and wondering the steps to make the situation different. It is not a self-help book. It is a 126 program that will help you make yourself more marketable and to get rid of that ‘rut’ feeling described in the first article.
Feel free to email me personally. My email is in the contact page.
All the best,
James
Listen man, reading all this just makes me want to stay even more. Your entire argument is built around the idea that loitering around campus through the rest of your twenties deprives you of all these other great opportunities. For me, these “other great opportunities” include being a temp worker at a toy factory (for about $7.50 an hour for two or three weeks at a time then getting laid off and waiting to get called back) and part time janitor at an elementary school for about $200 a week. Grad school for me will pay a little under $2,000 a month, far and away more money than either of these. You’re really preaching to a pre-recession/George W. Bush era moment in history here that is no longer really the case.
Hi Stephanie,
This blog was started well after the Recession hit. I never had any of the George W. Bush times of plenty you mention–the only thing I got from that decade was student loan debt and an exploded housing market.
Opportunity doesn’t announce itself. Otherwise, everyone would take it. You have to train yourself to hear it and it involves taking risk. While I can appreciate things being rough, I can’t buy the argument that the only options for a humanities major are either–to stay in grad school, or work in poverty.
That said, an environment is always more powerful than an individual. You can only do so much in an economically depressed region, and you might need to move to a larger or different urban centre.
But this blog is about breaking out of the traditional drive to find security and employment within a system like academia. It is about reinvention. And it is about creating. This means, it is about going outside of yourself and discovering what value and creativity you can provide. There is always opportunity–just often you have to create it yourself, rather than waiting for a system to deliver it to you.
And this by no means is easy and doesn’t involve some struggle.
I can appreciate you not buying this argument. But I don’t buy yours either.
Sorry I came off the way I did. I totally understand what you mean and I believe it. All I was trying to say is that there are SOME cases where staying in Grad School actually does make the best financial sense for someone; this is the situation I’ve found myself in. It’s easy for grad students to object to “living like students,” but what about people who are temporary or part-time workers in an economically depressed rural area, as I have been since graduating, who actually live worse than students and would gladly accept the modest stipend offered by an institution? Tenured professor is a hillariously unlikely (impossible?) goal, I admit, but isn’t being a grad student in itself a job, and to be treated as such?
Anyway, sorry for the first post, and I don’t mean any hostility at all with this second one.
Hey Stephanie,
No problem, my friend–I get your point as well. It isn’t as easy as ‘just leaving’ and taking a grad stipend cheque is sometimes the best route you got.
Best of luck and thanks for writing back.
James
I did the PhD in English, (having topped my school, won the flash scholarship – I have no debt as far as my education is concerned, so I’m fortunate; and hailed as the next Bright Young Thing in feminist theory). Then I did a long, hard teaching slog – largely outside my field as that was where there was available work. I was the “popular, professional, smart young woman”. But that just wore thin. And now, having fled what was essentially a slave-labour reality, (being an academic), I’m struggling 3 years later to even land a low-paid, low-skilled job. It’s kind of gutting to be thus reviled. I don’t expect to be celebrated, but it would be nice for my skills to be seen. However, I realise that I can’t actually sell these skills to save my life. And I am living in Australia, where having a PhD is akin to shooting yourself in the foot. A couple of times. Bitter? Moi? Oh, just a bit…to be honest.
I know that I’m joining the conversation a little late, but I’m rounding out my MA in Humanities this year and applying for Ph.D. programs in the fall… I guess I’m one of those girls [the nerdy ones, not the popular ones]; you know, the ones who just absolutely love academia. Moreover, in 6 years of university study I’ve stayed totally out of debt (thank you, Trustees!). I just can’t see myself doing anything else. And you know what? I don’t really care if I ever get to teach. I’ve made a living so far being a student, and I love it! After graduating from UG, I took part-time work just for the income. In the meantime, I hope I can keep my studies profitable… if not, I’ll be stuck teaching piano the rest of my life. Which is ok.
Hi Stephanie,
If you can avoid debt and have a back-up plan, then good for you. My mom is a Piano teacher and makes a good living.
James
Wow- this post is pretty useful. I went to a prestigious undergrad and majored in English, but opted against grad school after I saw how burnt out the grad students looked. I went to law school instead (super stressful and not enjoyable) and have been practicing for a few years now. I still think about grad school in English because I genuinely loved the courses and discussions and I’ve often wondered if I should have pursued that route. But reading about the limited options post-Phd, I think probably not.
Hi AR,
I think all of us English majors entertained the practical course of law versus grad school–good for you for choosing law.
James
Really liked your characterizations. I found a little of myself in most of them. Although I’ve had a tenure-track job for 10 years now, I hope my following assessment still is on.
I went in with both eyes wide open–I had a great MA theory prof. who sat us down and showed us the statistics and told us all the dirty secrets behind the PhD experience, and warned us about being used for cheap labor and to prop up an artificial hierarchy in colleges full of big egos who needed propping up. I went to a mid-western state university (a top 50 program, but not a top 20) and entered with 11 other PhD students. Six of us have tenure-track jobs (most at regional campuses of state universities or private colleges), one is a dean, two are adjuncts (both turned down other jobs to be near to significant others), one is an editor/poet, one is a curator at a quilting museum, and I’m not sure what happened to the last (who was the only one to get an A in our theory course!). Sure it was scary and people have to be flexible (I wanted to study Southern Lit. and got accepted into the program on that basis only to be told when I got there that the professor who had lured me in was going to be on leave for 2 years abroad to complete a book on Tennessee Williams–so I switched to early American lit and Rhetoric), but those who stuck with it and were willing to be flexible have ended up with pretty good jobs. My friend who got a degree from an Ivy League institution and had some hefty publications did not get a full time job because he wasn’t willing to look at the Chadron States, the Eastern Kentucky U’s, and the Central Colleges of Southern Louisianna (if that exists). Instead, he got turned down by Michigan, University of Washington, Wash U, Washington State, etc.
Anecdotal evidence is no anecdote for the ills of the academy, but flexibility and creativity will sometimes win out where a top 25 PhD will not.
Hi Polka,
Thanks for sharing your success story. Glad that you found a place and good for you for being flexible. Also, good for your professor for being honest. We need more professors like that.
–James
I really enjoyed this. You make me believe that one does not need to study english in order to write professionally. It is something I long to do. I love literature and I love history, and have had quite an enjoyable time my first two years in college studying them. During these years, I never considered graduate school, always law school. This is because of the money, not because I wanted to practice law. I never have, it is arbitrary and corrupt with greed. I did entertain the prospect of being a judge. The idea that my own judgement could hold the weight of law for a group of humans was inspiring to me at the time.
In an instant this past winter, I became fascinated and in awe of physics and astronomy in particular and science in general. I better appreciated the universality of physical laws, and the size of the universe itself. I now study astronomy and, at least for the time being, am doing what I need to do in order to go to graduate school.
I still want to be a writer. I want to leave a book of my thoughts behind for others to enjoy, because I certainly think they are cool. I want to be prepared to do this, and prepared to do it well, but not in exchange for a solid scientific understanding of this wonderful universe of ours.
The past makes me uncertain about the future, so in the case I do not become a scientist, and perhaps pursue a career more focused on writing, do you have any advise that may be helpful? And is there any kind of special market for science-related writing?
Again, your post answered a lot of thoughts I had, and I thank you for that.
As a side note, I was taken aback by your comment attacking the legitimacy of learning ancient language. Learning latin will greatly improve your knowledge of english, and I believe one cannot fully appreciate and understand the language without knowing it. You also get to learn a lot of cool history along the way. I challenge you to study it and not agree with its relevance.
Hmm…I think I’m a combination of 3 of the types–the novelist (I’ve got about 400 pages, almost done, but it has a LOT of editing remaining), the old grad student (or I would be if I was in a program, pushing 40–yikes!), and maybe the would be medievalist (not sure on that–while it is an interest, I could change to something else). Too bad I can’t also say I’m a tad bit like the nice girls who everyone likes and who networks so easily–damn my crippling ultra-introverted ways! In the meantime, I have the doctorate degree no one recognizes as a doctorate–the JD. But I miss literature and the college environment. I really wish I could just go into a PhD program just because I want the experience. Yes, my husband has a great job, but I do need to contribute to our future as well. A PhD may only be a dream for me. I suppose it isn’t the right thing for me (at least not now), not given my current situation. I’ll always hope I’ll be able to go back and do it someday. Maybe I will, when I’m much older, just for fun. Or maybe I’ll get off my butt, finish the novel, find an agent, a publisher, and never look back. Maybe I’ll use my JD to adjunct legal courses at a community college. It won’t be as much fun as teaching lit courses, but skipping the 7 years or so I’d have to devote towards a PhD is certainly the easier path. I’m not sure yet. But reading this is awfully depressing. If I had it to do over again (as an undergrad), I’d still get the BA in English, but I might just pair it with a more ‘practical’ (read: boring) double or triple major. Bean counter by day, author by night! Thanks for the insight. I’ll certainly keep it in mind as I try to figure out what to do with myself now that I’ve moved far away from anywhere I hold a license to practice law. The world isn’t what it once was. Academics barely fit in before, so now… Sad, just sad.
this is a nice work. hope you get to read it
I’m sad to see my stereotype isn’t there! I literally went to graduate school because I had nothing better to do having graduated immediately after the recession began spring 08. I never did my reading assignments and threw around literary terms and common sense ideas during class discussions and cherry picked quotes from random books and articles for papers.
I actually ended up getting a job from. A criminal justice elective I took, took a civil service test and started a nice career.
Sad, if you think about it, my university’s police officers made more than most of the (adjunct and grad student) faculty who TAUGHT the classes!!!
I found your website today while I was searching for a job. I’m not a humanities major (international relations/strategic studies), and I pulled out of grad school after I defended my master’s degree, but a lot of these stereotypes resound with me. Not to mention the shock of meeting the real world… Nice to know that there are others who feel my pain (and probably then some), and that maybe I made the right choice to ignore the PhD route, at least for the time being.
I started a Ph.D. program in English several years ago at a fairly good program where I had 5+ years of funding, etc. but left after only one year because I wasn’t willing to continue living in the state where my program was located. I didn’t want to waste 5+ years of my life living in such an unpleasant place, and I figured that I could finish the my doctorate somewhere closer to home. I already had an MA when I started my Ph.D., so after I returned home, I continued my previous work as an adjunct writing instructor while I tried to sort things out. Fast foward four years, and I’m still in the same place and still working as an adjunct. Financially, I actually do pretty well (for an adjunct) because I work for a good university and am in a relatively high pay grade, or “step.” Also, some terms I teach additional classes for a neighboring college. Last year, I made about $60,000, and that’s after taking a full month off for winter break and most of summer off too.(Granted, I teach a freakish number of classes each fall, a few of them online, but my winter and spring loads are pretty normal.) I make my own schedule every term, and since I’m an instructor, no one breathes down my neck or tells me what to do each day, which I appreciate. I also like the fact that I can grade papers on a beach or in a coffee shop, or whatever, while other people seem to be trapped in their cubicles. (Bleh.) Best of all, I love working with students; I’m one of those people who genuinely likes the students, and I enjoy helping them. I have to deal with all the typical challenges that come with the teacher territory, but overall, my days tend to fly by in interesting and relatively happy ways. So….. why did I invest time and money to apply to another Ph.D. program last year, one that’s closer to where I am living now? Well.. it was hard (er.. impossible!) to give up the dream of finishing that thing! I keep thinking that I could be doing more interesting, intellectually complex things than I am doing now. I think of my dissertation idea – just floating around in space, unfinished and waiting.I think of all the people who believed in me and and encouraged me to pursue this. And I have some kind of vague, blurry vision that if I have a Ph.D., my future life will be filled with more challenging and intriguing things than it will if I don’t. All of this makes my current lifestyle, as nice as it is, just seem like it’s somehow not enough. Anyway… I applied last year and got accepted to this new program at a top 25 school, but because starting there meant having to be away from my family for the 2012-13 school year (we found out that my husband can’t relocate until next year) and giving up my job (the university is 5 hours from where I live now), I pulled out at the last minute and told them that I couldn’t start this year. (Yes, I know.) They responded by telling me that if I come out for one term this year and pay my tuition (no funding bc I wasn’t full-time all year), I can *probably, with 99% certainty, depending on funding* start next year as a full-time Ph.D. student with full funding. I do have to resubmit a TA application and go through that TA-application process again though – since I am turning down the TA offer for this year. But I would secure my spot in the program. Like a lot of these programs, they got 600+ applicants last year and only let 10 of them in, so I guess I should be grateful for their flexibility. Sadly, I am actually considering their offer! I mean, I am thinking of shelling out more than 14 grand and leaving my cushy little adjunct position in order to go back to school for one term this year and then to start full-time next year at a fraction of what I make now. My family will be able to relocate with me next year, but this year we would be apart for about 3 months while I complete that one term. Am I insane? I’m an otherwise rational and intelligent person, but letting go of this Ph.D. dream is next to impossible for me, and I feel like an addict. Granted, my adjunct position is not secure, and I only teach 100-200 level classes, but still! It pays the bills, and I have a lot of free time and very little pressure. I could be doing my own writing or traveling in my spare time, but I don’t.. I just stress out about what I am doing with my life and whether I should go back to finish the damn thing. I have spent untold hours obsessing about this and tormenting myself with “what-ifs” and regrets. I spent much of my spare time last fall and part of winter break working on my new writing sample and personal statement. I’m saving every dime that I can because I keep expecting to be a poor graduate student again in the near future. But at the core, it’s not even so much the money that’s the issue. It’s mostly that I don’t want to waste my life away. Giving up the Ph.D. feels like giving up on myself.. and on life itself! I am already in my early 30s…How much more time will I spend like this? Is there any way out of this hell hole?
[...] from Selloutyoursoul.com. [...]
The confused artist describes me exactly. I’m even half way through a novel, and now I’m working on grad applications for a PhD in philosophy.
Nicely done: you’ve brought to the surface the constant doubts that I work to suppress. But I have to do something, since writing won’t pay the bills anytime soon…and I would be no good at law, or teaching high school; and I don’t want to join the military and kill people, or work for some big corporation that cares about nothing more than profit. It’s a dilemma.
I am a little suspicious that this website exists just to sell your book. What is your post-academic career?
Hi Michael,
Thanks for finding this blog. I can understand your dilemma.
To your other question, this blog existed long before the book. If you go through my archives, you’ll see the entire journey, which was my original intention, to document the entire process of leaving grad school to find a different path.
I absolutely do not make my living from selling my book! I work full-time in an ad agency, creating videos, digital campaigns, and marketing plans. I’m very happy. This blog is my hobby. I wrote the book because I wanted to present a complete answer. Blogging is always fragments of advice and so the book outlines a complete set of steps for humanities majors to take.
I wanted to write the most practical career resource for humanities that had ever existed, which is why I took the 126 day theme, each week giving a new task which builds over time.
I never intended to offer career advice, but I can remember when I first left and began looking for a job. I had no idea of what to say, where to look, or how to make the transition. And I can remember thinking–”wouldn’t it be cool to read a blog that took someone from the point I am now to where it all turns out, and shows them the mistakes to avoid.”
It seemed to me there were a lot of stories of the MA in English who used to work at a coffee shop, but now runs a consultancy or whatever. But missing from that story was the entire middle period of trial by error.
That’s what I hope my blog and book can fill in, taking people from the point of dilemma, offering some real world advice, and then showing them the steps needed to break into that alternative career.
This is a passion project. I only do it in my free time.
The world is made for average people. Get used to it. Says he, ha, ha. I never got used to it, but eventually realized that the average world wasn’t going to change. Money, glitz, acceptance and all those other tasty morsels are always going to be heaped in the average-world buffet for the unwashed masses. If you can find a way to mix in with the plebs without being pretentious you’ll probably prosper, and eventually may find secret fellow travelers, though in quiet moments some discontent with the very ordinary may worm into your soul. If you are lucky enough to be mad, bad or dangerous you can probably handle that. If you are a timid creature, you might be crushed, but that would have happened anyway with half the IQ. Of course, universities (and the seminaries etc which came before them) are constructed precisely as holding pens for clever twits who are mostly not required to exercise pragmatic judgments. Good things do come out of universities, but also endless reactionary irrelevance and petty status games. In the end, if you are an unusual person with unusual talents and practical grit, you will find your own way to make an interesting life. Any kudos from a path less trodden is cream, but it’s not the main game. Fair disclosure: I walked away from two PhDs and wasted two thirds of a life, before dashing one off at the ridiculous age of 65 and finding, not surprisingly, that all the traffic lights for conventional employment had turned red years before. Some account of this is in my own post: “Why Write a PhD?” at http://www.academia.edu/1978293/Why_Write_A_PhD.
The book may have much useful advice to offer but I’m sorry to say the stereotyping of students into those categories (artist, deluded adult, etc) is just ludicrous.
A cynic might be tempted to say that this blog’s author wants less competition in his field — and demoralizing his competition and directing them to other career paths is certainly a way to do that.
Cynics tend to say many things and do little.
I’m a bit embarrassed by the accuracy of the grad school types and my recognition of them! I suppose I’m a combo of the networking girls and the artist (one hopes). Except I’m old, having just finished my PhD at 41. I took a circuitous, but debt-free route to the PhD in English–I taught high school with my BA, then took a fellowship for an MA, got a lectureship at the university, andnever went back to high school. I left for a few years to get my doctorate at another university, then returned, and it’s worked out for me in some ways. I have a full-time lecturer position, with benefits, at a southern liberal arts university in a big city. This is not a tenure-track position, but it pays a living wage for a 4/4 load and requires no research (it also funds none–so conferences, and any writing I might squeeze in is unfunded and unrewarded). This is also the exact same job I left behind to get the PhD, so there has been a sense of running in place, and working terribly hard, undergoing tremendous anxiety, and sacrificing a lot of family time (had two kids along the way), for basically nothing but my own fulfillment and sense of accomplishment. Most of my friends are not in the academy, nor is anyone in my family. And they are immensely proud. I don’t feel at all the sense of achievement I thought I might. It’s disheartening, and I realize how good I have it compared to some. Reading all these comments has left me feeling very grateful, yet has certainly not mitigated the misery I’ve felt since finishing. Except as far as loving company, I suppose. Ha. Thanks for this forum! Best of luck to you all.
American elitism marches onward…
A “useless” PhD. is a rather pricey method of proving superiority. Why not just buy a Jaguar…
In the meantime, “regular Joe” who may or may not have concerned himself with post grad, or even a four year college (horrors) has created and enjoyed a successful career, bought a house, raised a family, and read every book he could get his hands on.
Now, you have a nice (impressive) sheep skin to hang on the wall with pride, and the debt to prove it. “Regular Joe” has no impressive sheep skin, but he has a fairly well rounded education, and … a pretty nice Jaguar.
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates
By the way, I forgot to say, love this article.
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There’s one other type that I would add to the list, though it is something I’ve seen more at the MA level: The Transfer. He was in a good XYZ science program, all set to go into pharmaceuticals, technology, or NASA. In his spare time, however, he liked to read–classic stuff too, not just the latest over-hyped Dan Brown thriller. Using a writing sample from a gen ed humanities class he took in undergrad, he manages to land in a humanities program. He didn’t have any humanities professor mentors; he has zero theoretical context (what’s been done, over-done, disproved, or up-and-coming); and his whole concept of academia is a Tolkienian fantasy (he will be a famous scholar and a brilliant novelist, too!). He survives on the odd adjunct contract, lots of loans (coming from the sciences, he thinks any advanced degree will pay for itself), and his parents, though they are starting to get antsy about his choices.
He knows he’s the odd ball, and that only gives him something to prove. He is very methodical, and he works hard, but often ignores the advice of peers and advisors. Though he has been warned repeatedly of the bleak outlook for those in the humanities, he soldiers on, unwilling to admit that he made a mistake because it would be a double failure–two unfinished advanced degrees and no clue where to go from here.
Hi JM,
Totally agree. I met a few of those.
Jame s
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